dude

  • Texting pics of your half nekked bod 3 hours after you just met
  • Calling me pet names like, princess, darling and my queen 2 minutes into our first covo
  • Tellin’ me crap like you know i’m an independent, intelligent woman who is a great mother to her kids just by watching me walk around the party for 20 min.

These are just a few of the many reasons why I do NOT date straight from yard. Me love me Caribbean men dem but you MUST be hyphenated to get down with Alysimone. Meaning, Haitian-American, Guyanese-American, Bajan-American, Trini-American, etc., etc. My life walking the line between two cultures demands a man who understands the dance and knows how and when to play up one culture or the other.

And yes, you can argue that a dumb-ass man is a dumb-ass man regardless of where he born. And you’d be right, but I have yet to find a man born and raised in the West Indies who isn’t either a complete and total ass, chauvinistic non-romantic idiot, over-sexed culture-less clod, etc. Of course, you shouldn’t speak in absolutes. There is probably an exception to my rule out there somewhere. But me have yet to meet him. So until then, me ain’t interested in anyone not of my half n half ilk.

Where is all a dis comin from you ask? Well, I was out of town this weekend and met what appeared to me a nice guy. He had an strong accent but I didn’t let that worry me. Lots of hyphens have accents. But once we got into the convo and I realized not only had he only in the country for the past 5 years he was still married to his green card bride.

Why did I give him my #? Why!? I’m still dodging his texts and calls. ‘Good morning sweetness’…yuck! I just met you negro! What make you think you can call me pet names and advise me on my finances (he was trying to convince me to move to his part of town, smh). LAWD!. I’m proud a meself for giving him a chance but he only proved my rule right. Now is time to call me girlfrien dem so they can chuckle with me over the silly voicemails he left or body building pic he texted me.

Oy, the life a single gyal…the fun never stops.

Do  guys have any rules about dating Caribbean men or am I the only one? If so, what are they and why do you follow it? Is there a difference between the island born, hypens and Americans? Tell me nuh?!